seriously ill

Dear Serious: I do not know if you have seen these yet, but here goes. http://www.hrsa.g ov/hillburton/ - Search engine for medical facilities receiving federal money to assist w/free and or low cost medical to those in need. http://www.clinicaltr ials.gov/ct/info/whatis#whatis http://www.centerwatch.com /patient/trials.html http:/ /www.genome.gov/11008842#assis tance http://ask.hrsa.gov/p c/ http://www.beyondtherain bow.org/blank.html http://w ww.pennies-from-heaven.org/pro grams.html http://good-stew ard.org/Ministry/Help_Medical. htm http://www.mesa-angels. com/apply.asp http://www.ca ncercare.org/about_us/ The National Patient Travel Helpline provides information about all forms of charitable, long-distance medical air transportation and provides referrals to all appropriate sources of help available in the national charitable medical air transportation network. Telephone: 1–800–296–1217 Web site: http://www.patienttravel.org/ Please note that when web addresses are posted in this text area extra blank spaces appear which you will have to remove by using the backspace key to remove them in order for the link to work. Also - PLEASE read the aidpages posted by Soulight. She has valuable information to make life better in any situation. See- http://app-sl-1.aidpage. com/#Re lated_AidPages And, if you have benefited from any os this information, please drop a line to Soulight and let her know. There is nothing more inspirational than knowing you were able to help someone. She is the source of the above directed links. Blessings, Elaine

Sear Seriously Ill, The Hill-Burton participants I have listed in publication dating back to April 2003 in your area are as follows: Mariposa Community Health Ctr. (Outpatient Facility) 1852 North Mastic Way Nogales, AZ 520 281-1550 St. Vincent DePaul (Free Clinic) 420 West Watkins, Phoeniz, AZ 602-261-6868 Handmaker Jewish Geriatric Ctr. (Nursing Home) 2221 N. Rosemont, Tucson, AZ 520-881-2323 El Rio Santa Cruz Health Care(Outpatient Facility) 839 West Congress St., Tucson, AZ 520-792-9890 Please note this publication dates back to 2003 and there may be additional facilities in your area now participating. Also note some phone numbers may have changed. The web site listed in the pamphlet is www.institutedc.org and the title of booklet is Free and Low Cost Medical Care (The Cost Containment Research Institute) May the Great Physician heal the hearts of those in the healing profession to come to your aid. Blessings, Elaine

I am a 27 year old mother of three and am expecting once more. I have very little medical documentational proof, and most of the medical records I have no idea on how to obtain them, as I had moved around a lot from house to house, town to town, state to state, doctor to doctor my whole life. I will go through my medical history the best as I can remember it and may be out of order. Age 9, I started having what my family called "seizures", who would say my eyes would roll in the back of my head, I would fall, often injuring my head, sometimes my body would jerk and other times it would not. I always remember very vividly the feeling I would have right before it would happen, I heard a buzzing sound that started off faint then would grow very loud very fast, and I would regain conciousness hearing the buzzing sound dissipate from my sounds, always leaving me very weak and tired and I often needed to sleep afterward. I would have anywhere from 1-5 per year and I still get them from time to time but they have reduced since I've been in my 20's. These seizures started after I fell from a tireswing and hitting my head on a rock and urinating in my pants at a place I can no longer recall, as I was 9 years old. Ever since this event, I have had these "seizures". Several years after I started having these seizures my mother grew concerned and decided to send me to Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for testing for epilepsy. I got tested for months and all tests came up negative and said that there was no known medical cause for my seizures. I then moved away, and nothing else was done about this until I was 15 years old when I had a seizure in English class (the first time I had one in public) and was rushed to the hospital by my grandparents who came to pick me up. My pediatrician was Dr. George Fatula, who has a practice in DuBois, Punxsutawney, and Brookville , PA offices. That particular day I was in the DuBois office as it was closer to my school which was located in Reynoldsville, PA. A nurse made a comment that my blood pressure was so weak that she was unable to take my blood pressure. I ended up getting referred to a pediatrician cardiologist from a group located out of Danville, PA who came to DuBois hospital to evaluate and treat me. He told me that my seizures and fainting spells was probably due to quick movements and my blood pressure dropping. I was prescribed salt pills or a high sodium diet. I first tried the salt pills, but forgot to take them a lot so I opted for the striving for a high sodium diet. It seemed to help to some extent, but it did not curb the seizures either. Age 12, I told my mom that my back was hurting me every day for many months and I thought I needed a doctor. So my mom took me to a chiropractor who said I had scoliosis. His name was Dr. Goodman from Pittsburgh, PA and he advised that I see an orthopedic surgeon. I ended up moving back to where my family is from, to Brookville area where I saw Dr. Alexander Krot where I got x rays and told the degrees of my curvatures and was told there was nothing that could be done for me. I was given a paper of exercise figures and sent on my way. I was very scared of the demeanor of this doctor and was terrified of him and went back to him few times after that. This is where I developed my intense fear of doctors. Just their titles alone make me nervous and that makes me seem less credible when I am describing my symptoms. This made me not want to openly discuss my medical/emotional history openly. Age 13, hospitalized for having thoughts and urges to kill myself with my prescription medication I was prescribed for gastritis. I was in foster care at this time because of severe childhood abuse and turmoil and I was sick for 2 weeks and missed a lot of school. I recall my foster father saying that he thought I was faking it and that he didnt think I realy was sick, and was particularly interested in finding out why I was so sick. I had also had a traumatic experience with an older guy who was 17, who had tricked me into thinking that he didnt have a girlfriend and seduced me and dumped me and ultimately humiliated me. He told everyone who would listen that he was unable to penetrate me and he needed a crowbar to get inside me. I was socially outcasted from then on, which led me into the hospital. I don't think that I mentioned anything about being sick, even though it was the most agonizing pain I have ever endured for the first time. I made no mention of it, but it really did impact me. So I was in a children's psychiatric unit at DuBois Regional Medical Center east and I was a resident for more than 30 days, due to the fact that I was a foster child and my foster family had divorced and I was not allowed to return. It was at DuBois Regional Medical Center where I was assigned to a dr named Dr. Bob DiGellarmo (i am not sure how his last name is spelled) and he was the most unethical doctor I have ever met. I told him what happened about the situation that preceded my admittance there, and he told me that I was raped. I told him no I was not raped that I wanted it to happen in the moment and I was willing and consenting. Then he sat there and continued to say that he raped me and I had made the mistake of telling him that another girl in the unit with me was the sister of the 17 year old guy who used and humilated me. I never said anything to anyone, and the following day, the sister threatened me on more than one occasion after she learned from sources unknown to me that I was the girl that was "falsely accusing him of rape" when I said no such thing. I really believe that Dr Bob had told her his fabrication of events in addition to her brother telling her the same thing. Not long after this, I had secretly attempted to strangle myself in the bathroom one night with my bra (i was strangely not on suicide watch after this event) and I remember my face turning red and my conciousness was starting to go fuzzy and I had a flash image of my grandmother crying over my death so I stopped; my gram was everything to me and still is. For a long time she was the only person I really felt and believed that she really truly cared about me. After release of the hospital to another foster home, i was required to see a counselor once or twice a week for a year or two. I had bad experiences with Zoloft in the hospital, it caused jittery tremors and my stomach felt like it was on fire. They changed my prescription to prozac where i remained on it for the next few months. I remember vividly having an erotic fantasy of cutting myself up and masturbating in my blood and relishing in this. It subsquently scared me and embarrassed me that I never told anyone about it and I stopped taking my medicine, pretending to still take it for a couple months after I had quit taking it. I refused to take medications after this event. Age 20 I was attending Penn State University and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my whole life. It rendered me unable to attend classes and unable to leave my couch. I was in writhing agony even laying down which was a relief from when I had to walk around to use the bathroom and get food and take care of my children. My live in boyfriend was convinced that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was just lazy and looking for attention. This not only depressed me, but it downright angered me because I knew it was very real and I was not making any of it up and I was suffering. Age 22, my whole life fell apart. I developed a drinking problem, and this was when my health slowly starting declining even more. This is when I started isolating myself and spiraled into a depression from the devastating events that were happening along with the development of my sensitivity to all of my senses. I lived with my brother, leaving my children to be cared for by my family members and I started down a shame spiral that led me to vomiting daily. I never forced myself to vomit, my stomach actually burned and I would eventually throw up. I would eat and throw up. I found that if i ate bagels with cream cheese daily then I puked less. So I ate 1-3 bagels a day for the next several months. In time, I found that smoking marijuana also significantly reduced the duration, frequency that I would throw up. I thought I was bulemic, but at the same time it didnt make sense to me, because I never wanted to throw up. It would just happen. So I called it "bulemia beyond my will and control". Now, my sensitivies have worstened and expanded to more excruciating measures. I can vomit from a bad smell, or a disgusting sight. My stomach will burn if I even hear undesirable sounds and if I have bright lights (or sunlight) in my eyes. I have been a daily marijuana user since age 22, out of necessity, loathing myself for constantly breaking the law and being depressed because I don't feel I have much choice. Age 24-25 ish, I saw Dr. Joseph Prusakowski from Brookville PA. and for the first time in many years I finally opened up to a doctor and pleaded with him to help me to have a quality of life. I was sick and was bed ridden for months and I was not getting better. I was having great difficulty walking and had a couple of bouts of physical therapy to rehabilitate my right hip. I was afraid that I was going to get nowhere once again, but to my surprise, this was the first doctor in many years who really cared enough to try to help me. He referred me to physical therapy and Dr. Laun Hallstrom who was a pain management doctor who tried many different ways to control my pain. He first gave me muscle relaxers and pain medication to aid with my physical therapy. Then I was in more pain from physical therapy so he tried a semi-surgical outbound procedure by putting needles of some numbing solution in my lower back and problematic hip. I had 3 or 4 procedures and it was not working. It was painful and I found it to be pointless. Then I lost all respect for him when he prescribed Lexapro for me in attempt to treat my depression from the failure of my treatment. I was so mad that he would do that, but I decided that since I was trying to apply for SSI, I had to at least try it and I did. The medication made me mean and isolated myself. I remember sleeping a lot and fluctuating rapidly to not being able to sleep. Constantly back and forth from insomnia to excessive sleeping and back again. I felt I was going crazy. I felt that my doctors, with the best intentions, were not helping me and were causing me more pain and frustation because my therapy was failing. I had also develped a strange urinary issue and was unable to pee. My bladder got so sore and painful from being full and I was unable to empty it. I went to emergency room after emergency room. I went to Brookville Hospital ER where a nurse named Nixon gave me a catheter bag (it was my first time) and then left it inserted in my urethra for the next 2 hours. After one hour I was in severe pain and I was repetedly ignored. After an hour of telling 3 different employees that would actually look at me, no one came. I became hysterical and was crying. It was then that she and the doctor rushed in. The nurse crossly asked me why I was crying and I told her I was in pain for a long time and I was ignored. She then said that she would fix that problem and ripped the catheter out of me while the doctor stood there and watched. As she ripped the catheter out, I screamed out in severe pain and was sent home with some aintibiotic with my urethra in severe pain. I later went to DuBois Hospital and I received excellent care. I ended up seeing a urologist named Dr, Javieer Reddy out of Brookville. He said that my urethra was too narrow and that I had a small kidney stone. He said that I needed surgery to enlarge my urethra which was also quite painful afterward. I went back for my checkup after the surgery, and my urethra narrowed on its own again. Wasted time and unnecessary surgery. I was given medication that is usually given to old men with prostate issues and my urinary symptoms gradually dissipated over time. But all through that time I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced to date and I really believed that I was going to die. This was the period of time that I was sick, in pain, and bedridden for the longest time ever. 11 months. I ended up being denied SSI because they ruled that I was able to have a telecommunications customer service job, as I have had previous experience doing and it devastated me. I did not disclose my depression or emotional issues because I was afraid and unwilling to take any more medication. So I was denied SSI so I was forced to move with my mom when she wanted to move to Tucson, AZ. I knew that if I didnt I would have just stayed in that room and maybe died for all I know. In the rural PA that I am from, there are no jobs like that, and the few that are close by that are phone jobs involved selling stuff and I have never been able to successfully sell anything. I moved here, and I have had 2 jobs since I have been here and neither one for very long. I am unable to work in my current condition and I just want relief so I can work. This has not yet happened. I am 27, sick, weak, in pain and so very depressed. I am always constipated and I am in terrible pain trying to have a bowel movement from gas and often times my anus will bleed because the waste is so hard. I am unable to work and I am unable to clean my house....I am barely able to function enough to perform my motherly duties. The days go on it gets harder and harder to provide care for my children. I walk around feeling half dead and my only relief is getting high all day every day that I can. I hate having to rely on this as my medicine, I spend so much of my money on it just so I can eat. At first it was worth it, but now its running my partner's income practically dry and we are having trouble making ends meet, all in the name of comfort for me. I hate living this way, I hate feeling like a loser, and I hate doing drugs to get through the day. I am afraid for my family because I know my lifestyle could catch up to me and I could get caught at any time. I desperately need help. I have an extreme personality and I have often been misunderstood and disliked because of it. I sometimes tried both ends of the extremes and none if it works. And yet, I can't ever find the happy medium of normalcy and it often leaves people wondering about my choices. I do believe that a lot of the devastating events that have happened to me are a direct result of poor choices I have made, and yet I do not know how to not have extreme, radical thinking and I do not know how to make sound decisions under emotional distress. I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed with something called PDD, pervasive developental disorder, a form of autism. I was never aware of anyone in my family of having autism and the childs father was just as confused as i was because no one in his family had it. The father blamed his having autism on my genetics but had no real proof. Last summer, I made a number of google searches about autism and on my symptoms and found something called Wilson's Disease. I remember crying when I read the page. I cried because I was convinced that this is what has been plaguing me my whole life. I thought that all of the issues I had were seperate and unrelated. I became angry from all of the medical mistreatment I have receieved over the years and I am terrified of doctors now. I have noticed in the past year, I have dark spots interfereing with my vision slightly. And I have a yellow-ish ring in my eye that is visible up close. I need a doctor that will put aside their nature to come up with their own theory of what is wrong with me. I am tired of hearing that nobody can help me. I believe that someone can help me. I need someone to humor me and test me for Wilson's Disease as a starting point in attempting to figure out what is wrong with me. If that comes up negative I need the doctor to be patient with me and keep testing and researching to find out what is wrong with me. I need help. I can't live like this anymore. I want my children to have a mother who is relatively more able to take care of herself and her home and her children. All I want is to feel better. I am currently pregnant now, and I do not plan to have any more children after this. Please help me have quality of life because I have none. I am desperate, my situation is desperate, I need money and I need to be well to work or get disability....something....any thing to provide for my family. I am tired of being hungry and being sick and losing weight. I am tired of the pain. I am just tired. transformationwormgi rl@hotmail.com doctors please email me. I have no money or even insurance at this time. I need a doctor who is willing to evaluate, investigate, and test on a charity basis. I need a doctor who is willing to fly to where I currently live in Tucson AZ to do this. Ultimately, I need a doctor like Dr. House, from the medical show on Fox. There has to really be doctors that are obsessive about solving the puzzle of the patient like he is. Let me have hope once again that I could know what is wrong with me and have real and humane treatment. thank you for your time.